Moldy Peaches

This is akin to going to the doctor, being told to loose weight and deciding to take diet pills instead of exercising. A German scientist is suggesting that rather than actually take measures to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere, we could shoot sulfur into the atmosphere.

The burning of fossil fuels releases carbon dioxide, a greenhouse gas, into the atmosphere. It also releases sulfur that cools the planet by reflecting solar radiation away from Earth. Most researchers say the warming effect has been winning in recent decades. Injecting sulfur into the second atmospheric layer closest to Earth would reflect more sunlight back to space and offset greenhouse gas warming, according to Nobel laureate Paul Crutzen from the Max Planck Institute for Chemistry in Germany and the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, University of California at San Diego.

There has to be a better way than the lazy man's approach to this issue and it shouldn't be known as a "Made in Canada" solution.

The assault trial of a man accused of shoving a cell phone down a woman's throat has begun.Prosecutors say 24-year-old Marlon Brando Gill was angry and jealous when he forced the phone into Melinda Abell's throat in December. But defense attorneys insist the 25-year-old victim swallowed the phone intentionally to prevent Gill from finding out who she'd been calling.

Gill is charged with felony first-degree assault.

A doctor at a Kansas City hospital's emergency room used a tool called a "pincher" to remove the phone from Abell's throat.

She testified yesterday that she couldn't remember how the phone got in her throat, saying she drank too much that night. Court records show that her blood alcohol content was three times the legal limit.

Spotted from the 500 deck of the Rogers Centre (Skydome) manually keeping score behind homeplate - Geddy Lee. The master of prog rock lives.

Tom Sawyer would have enjoyed the Wells walkoff. Jays win 5-4 in 11.

Wow! A record one day stock plunge of $10,400,000,000.00. Who doesn't have an extra $10 billion kicking around.

Yahoo is in trouble.

Al Qaeda cells in Iraq? The illegal cells being operated in Guantanamo? Nope, President Bush used his first veto EVER to strike down an expansion of an embryonic stem-cell research Bill.

The legislation would have ended a restricted practice that limits human embryonic stem-cell research only to cell lines, or colonies, that were derived on or before Aug. 9, 2001, the day the policy was announced. Embryonic stem cells have the potential to turn into various types of body cells, causing hope for advances in the treatment of Parkinson’s, Alzheimer's, diabetes and other diseases.

Good to see Bush has the best interests of a "morally decent society" at heart when he turns his back on research, science and development. You can be Pro-Life and not believe that destroying every cell is murder. At least Pat Robertson and Jerry Farewell can hug it out with him.

Staring Neil Smith, Charles Wang, Pat Lafontaine and Ted Nolan.

The "Island" is turning into a creepier version of the Michael Bay movie.

Garth Snow as the new GM - I had to do a double take to see if it was April 1.

Former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich says America is in World War III and President Bush should say so. Or, he could simply tell Americans the truth that the Middle East is in chaos and everyone has to do their part to resolve the crisis.

Apparently the crisis in the Middle-East is one that calls out for American soliders. We know that Bush and Co. would love any excuse to go to war with Iran / Syria or both. Fighting Hezbollah is like fighting the Taliban or Al Qaeda and we know how that is turning out. Extending the US military to include new battles there would be a diaster for Iraq and Afganistan - if they aren't already abject failures.

Cry 2 Him: The Sequel.

A group of young, concerned Canadians recently held an awareness session on Parliament Hil. The group is trying to draw attention to some serious issues facing the nation.

Child poverty? Immigration? Skill shortages? Climate change? Global warming? Student debt? Artic sovereignty? Agriculture issues? Softwood lumber?

Nope, these concerned Christians are asking Canadian MPs and Senators to stand for Christian values in government - watch a couple of videos and get a chuckle or two (apparently Christians do not get fair coverage in the "press"). 4 MY Canada identified some serious issues threatening Canada's fabric:

An Act to amend the Criminal Code (procuring a miscarriage after twenty weeks of gestation - the baby step to eliminating a women's right to chose.

UNBORN VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE BILL (BILL C-291)

FREE VOTE ON THE FAMILY - a.k.a Same-sex marriage.

RAISING THE AGE OF SEXUAL CONSENT - So long rainbow parties.

4 MY Canada is advocating for one worth while bill. The Poverty Reduction Bill (BILL C-293) - Liberal MP John MacKay is leading the charge on this bill. A long overdue innitiative.

The group, to be fair, is working towards getting young people to care about the political process and that is nothing but a good thing.

You Know You're the Third Wheel When:

You're always the only one in the backseat

They're sharing an appetizer while you're going solo

While you're out, they're text messaging... each other

They "forget" to change their reservation from two to three

You stop bothering to put the pull-out bed back into the couch each morning

You're always on the outside of their inside jokes

They start shopping for a two-seater car

Your ticket is for a seat in another section of the theater

Your "workday" consists of drinking their OJ right from the carton during The Price Is Right

They keep insisting on setting you up on dates (emphasis on insisting)

You find yourself on the side of the dance floor... holding three drinks

You hear a lot of, "So, where can we drop you off?"

Courtesy: Sex on my desk

An Inconvenient Truth and The Weather Makers. Two recent releases that you make you question how you are consuming on this earth and what can be done to curb global warming and climate change.

Al Gore, spare some of the sappy political stories, is actually quite good at deconstructing a fairly complex issue. Al Gore has come along way since he opponents used to brand him "radical."

In the 1992 campaign against Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush mocked Gore as “ozone man” and claimed:

“This guy is so far out in the environmental extreme we’ll be up to our necks in owls and outta work for every American.”

In the 2000 campaign, George W. Bush cracked that Gore “likes electric cars. He just doesn’t like making electricity.” The younger Bush, a classic schoolyard bully with a contempt for intellect, demanded that Gore “explain what he meant by some of the things” in his 1992 book, “Earth in the Balance”—and then unashamedly admitted that he had never read it.

W, however, was a fan of the pulp science-fiction novel: “State of Fear,” by Michael Crichton (of Congo and Jurassic Park fame). Bush was so excited by the story, which pictures global warming as a hoax perpetrated by power-mad environmentalists, that he invited the author to the Oval Office.

One of the most encouraging signs coming from the movie was that, although the United States - along with Australia - refuses to sign the Kyoto Accord, many states and cities (coincidently with heavy concentrations of Democratic leadership) are endorsing the Accord. This is good news for Canadians. Provincial and municipal governments should start to get involved more in these issues and take the lead. The Conservative government clearly shows no signs of knowing their ass from their elbow on environmental issues. All tax credits, all the time is not a strategy.

The other encouraging thing is we can view the environment and the economy as partners not adversaries. We need to step past the rhetoric of "we can't afford it."

Here is hoping the G8 leaders spend some time on this important issue this week.

The United States war on drugs better expand to include a new target - Senior's homes. This group is crafty and have, well, time on their hands.

Word that an 80 year-old has been busted flipping crack for sex. Poor guy, just wanted to keep on, keeping on.

Good thing Steve and the Conservatives can *claim* to rid Ottawa of scandal and entitlements. A deep war chest can apparently buy many things in Ottawa.

Sponsorship whistleblower and Tory candidate Allan Cutler is claiming that Tory MP Pierre Poilievre (one of the dullest knives in the drawer) and the Honourable Minister of the Treasury Board John Baird promised compensation for Cutler. Who, surprisingly, then took up the urge to run in the last election for those same Conservatives.

In fact, the Ottawa Citizen reports that the Conservatives gave the Cutler's Ottawa South riding association $24,000 the day before the election call, and transferred another $41,000 to his campaign three weeks later. The riding association also transferred $15,000 to his campaign.

The other twist on this story is that Cutler was *placed* into this riding when the Conservatives already had a candidate - Alan Riddell. The motto could have been All Allan All the Time.

Riddell claims the Tories reneged on a deal to pay him up to $150,000 in campaign expenses and legal fees run up before he finally agreed, under pressure, to step aside in Ottawa South in November 2005.

The Conservatives don't deny they had a financial deal of some kind with Riddell when he stepped down, but say he breached the agreement by going public and isn't owed anything now.

Why Conservatives can't govern. A great article that crystalizes my thoughts on why Conservative parties make the best opposition, but the worst governments.

Some highlights:

Conservatives, once in office, find themselves under constant pressure from constituents to use government to improve their lives. This puts conservatives in the awkward position of managing government agencies whose missions--indeed, whose very existence--they believe to be illegitimate. Contemporary conservatism is a walking contradiction.

Plus, it reintroduces one of my favourite phrases to describe social conservatives - Paleocons. These folks, like Maurice Vellacott, Cheryl Gallent and Elwin Hermanson, resemble characters out of the Flintstones for their pre-historic beliefs.

The world's first test-tube baby Louise Brown is expecting a baby of her own. Almost 26 years after the dawn of a new medical era - science in place of sex - Brown is doing her bit for the globe.

Brown's birth was the result of 12 years of research by a British team, Dr Robert Edwards and Dr Patrick Steptoe who pioneered in vitro fertilization (IVF). Although Dr Steptoe died when she was 10, Dr Edwards was the guest of honour at Louise's wedding at Bristol's St Mary Redcliffe church.

Louise was born on July 25, 1978, after her parents John and Lesley had tried for nine years to have a child. Her birth brought hope to infertile couples. And since then millions of babies have been born using IVF, including the couple's second child Natalie, 20 - who was the first Brown to conceive.

She said:

'I used to think I was special. I used to think about how I was conceived quite a lot when I was about ten or 11, but I don't think about it at all now that so many other babies have been born in the same way. "

Translation:

The first dude to be conceived through no sex became a legend and is helping sustain a religion. Me, all I got was a stinking autographed lab coat. Lousy scientists.

Brown should know if she wants to vacation in Canada soon that Choice Hotels Canada would be pleased to offer her deal. The hotel chain recently announced a newly developed member partnership with IVF.ca - the IVF resource group in Canada. Choice Hotels Canada is the largest hotel chain in the country with over 270 properties open and under development, representing seven distinctive brands from coast to coast, including Comfort, Comfort Suites, Quality, Sleep Inn, Clarion, Econo Lodge and Rodeway. This is further proof that nobody pays the "rack rate."

Or she could rest easy knowing that she helped create a new banking industry.

Cinema Du Parc - a Montreal film icon - is closing its doors on August 3rd. The theatre, like many independent, arthouse projects, can not compete with big box movie chains. It will be a sad day on Du Parc to see it close. If you are lucky enough to be in Montreal, do check out a flick there and try the gummi bears.

Hat tip to Phoff.

Good on the Adam Carolla radio show for sending Ann Coulter to deadair. Ann called in Carolla's show an hour and a half late, then told the host "I am really tight on time." Carolla responded, "All right, well get lost" and then hung up on her mid-sentence.

Hear it here.

Azzurri give the folks on St.Clair Ave - a huge crowd (easily 100,000) and College St something to cheer about. It was 1982 all over again.

Zidane, well he leaves all speechless by proving we are all human.

Colorado Avalanche and Former Montreal Canadiens goalie Jose Theodore and his girlfriend are demanding a retraction from Quebec television station TQS over a story the network aired reporting the couple had separated.

Marie-Christine Proulx reported on the June 20 current-affairs program Le Grand Journal that Theodore had moved out of the couple's Montreal home.

The couple are, however, not asking for the photos and eye-witness accounts of Theodore partying with *brand* star Paris Hilton in Toronto at the Much Music Awards, after party and after, after party to be retracted.

It has been, to say the least, a trying year for No Way Jose. The *hair* thing, the trade and a stay at the Paris Hilton. That is a hat trick nobody should be proud of.

The cover of the new issue of TIME says it all. It is time to start planning for a world post-Bush. This is nothing but a good thing. The man, while humorous and personable, has worn out his tarnished and questionable welcome.

The act is shameful. The reaction has been measured. There is no need for security 24 / 7 at the memorial. An extra body or three on Canada Day - the one day downtown Ottawa actual has life - is sufficient.

What is equally shameful is that Ontario and Quebec do not have November 11th as a statutory holiday. Is it any wonder these kids don't understand the magnitude of their deplorable actions.

It is officially the end of prom season in the United States but there is one highlight from this past year that is worth pointing out.

TAKE MY SON TO HIS PROM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-04-01, 1:35PM EST

I won't go into the whole story, but my son got dumped by the girl he was going to take to his prom. The prom is in a few weeks and I want him to have a date.

So here is the deal. Go with my son as his date. No expectations on his or my part other than going to the prom with him. He is tall, fairly good looking, but somewhat unexperienced with girls. He is not a geek as he played on 2 varsity high school sport teams for the past 3 years.

What's in it for you. $500 cash for your time and I will pick up the cost of your dress, hair styling, etc. up to another $300. You will be picked up in a limo.

Requirements are that you are cute and could pass for 17-19.

Thanks.

this is in or around Bucks County

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $500 plus (see ad)

See more great prom photos here.

The top answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest.
#1 Answer: Lincoln
Worst Answers: Nixon

Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San.
#1 Answer: San Diego
Worst Answer: Seattle

Question: Name a slang term used for important people.
#1 Answer: V.I.P.
Worst Answer: Buddy

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener.
#1 Answer: Bugs
Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time

Question: Name a term used in football.
#1 Answer: Touchdown
Worst Answer: Fastbreak

Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation.
#1 Answer: Non-smoking
Worst Answer: A menu

Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from.
#1 Answer: The police
Worst Answer: Your son

Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows.
#1 Answer: Mozart
Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias

Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick.
#1 Answer: Water
Worst Answer: Alcohol

Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose.
#1 Answer: Pimple
Worst Answers: Lint

Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in.
#1 Answer: High heels
Worst Answer: Scuba flippers
Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.

Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house.
#1 Answer: Relatives
Worst Answer: Mold

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.

Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter.
#1 Answer: Taking orders
Worst Answer: Falling down

Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating.
#1 Answer: Bra
Worst Answer: Used condom

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend.
#1 Answer: Bad breath
Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much

Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating.
#1 Answer: Undress
Worst Answer: Make out
Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?

Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered.
#1 Answer: It's cold
Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address
Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.

Question: Name an animal many people are scared of.
#1 Answer: Snake
Worst Answer: Boar
Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.

Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble.
#1 Answer: Letters
Worst Answer: Dice
Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?

Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair.
#1 Answer: 30
Worst Answer: 14

Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding.
#1 Answer: June
Worst Answer: Summer

Courtesy Smit Happens.

Jon Stewart is in fine form.

Gay ceiling? Random fetish?

I really like his rebuttal to the "slippery slope" marriage discussion. Polygamy? Marrying box turtles? These are choices and not a biological human condition. Plus, the reverse slippery slope. Income? Race? The more that I hear Conservatives talk about reasons to ban same-sex marriage, the more I am in favour of it.

This matters because of non-sense like this. Apparently it is in the interest of the state to have a child have a mother and father. If that is the case, should divorce not be illegal and childless marriages outlawed?

You know labour unrest is bad when casinos are closing. In the first mass closure in the 28-year history of Atlantic City's legalized gambling trade, all 12 casinos went dark. With no state budget, New Jersey cannot pay its state employees, including casino inspectors who keep tabs on the money.

You get the sense that this will not last. One has the feeling a horse head may end up in a bed or two in the swamp.

Is anyone watching men with bikes in France? The event has become a complete joke. There are massive drug allegations. Lance is out. Many of the top riders are banned. The World Cup is overshadowing it. Even Dick Pound has pounced and is throwing salt in their eyes. Ouch.

This is no Conan O'Brien skit. There will be no guest appearance by Andy. Instead these headlines come from a recent spring cleaning which netted this gem - National Hockey League 2000. The article appeared in The Saskatoon Star-Phoenix on Tuesday, December 12, 1989.

Bob Strumm - then Sports Editor - peered into his crystal ball and made a series of fearless predictions of what the National Hockey League would look like in the year 2000. Strumm figured the league would maintain the traditional four divisions but would grow to an amazing 28 teams - including a series of new markets in the United States. Strumm's predictions are below:

Patrick Division

Atlanta*
New Jersey
NY Islanders
NY Rangers
Philadelphia
Pittsburgh
Washington

Adams Division

Boston
Buffalo
Hamilton**
Hartford
Montreal
Toronto
Quebec City

Norris Division

Chicago
Denver*
Detroit
Los Angeles
Milwaukee**
St. Louis
San Jose*

Smythe Division

Calgary
Edmonton
Minnesota
Saskatchewan**
Seattle**
Vancouver
Winnipeg

Strumm's predictions were bold and some were even right. His thoughts were mused at a time when it looked like league would expand - 6 years after Saskatoon was deemed a poor fit for Blues. In his column he indicated that the NHL may gamble on non-hockey markets in Texas and Florida. He was right there.

In the spirit of Strumm, Moldy is offering a snapshot of what the NHL will look like in 2012. There will still be 30 teams, but a few will have moved around. Gone will be Columbus and Nashville. Kansas City will scoop Columbus and Portland will grab Nashville. Atlanta will move, again. The team will be playing out of the MTS Centre in Winnipeg. And, Saskatoon will still be without a team! One of the results will have nothing to do with these guys.

If I were rich, famous and a soccer star from Brazil.

Get your name here.

The video says it all. Watch all the way until the end for a classic Saget send off!

Courtesy of College Humor.