Wednesday, April 19, 2006
NHL Awards - Moldy Style
No Heart Trophy - An award to the *star* player who had little or no impact on his team. This *star* earns a big salary and performed like a dog.
Finalists
Todd Bertuzzi
Alexi Yashin
Keith Tkachuk
Winner
Todd Bertuzzi hands down. We could cut him some slack due to the lawsuit, however, one still expects more from 44. He was largely inconsistent and as a result the Canucks are golfing to the first time in six years in April. Bertuzzi likely punched his (and Marc Crawford) ticket out of town.
Snoris Trophy - An award given to the league's worst defensemen with a salary over $1 million.
Finalists
Bryan McCabe
Aki Berg
Nick Boynton
Bryan McCabe in a walk. McCabe is the most overrated defenseman in the league. Did anyone see his awful performance in Turin?
He only plays on one half of the rink and even there he isn’t particularly strong. It didn’t take long for teams to clue into the one-timer from the point. It is sad that some team will pay $5 million per season next year for a guy who is a power play specialist. No offense to actual specialists around the world.
Red Light Racicot Trophy - An award given to the worst goalie in the league.
Finalists
Ed Belfour
Nikolai Khabibulin
Jose Theodore
Winner
Nikolai Khabibulin. How the mighty have fallen. Nik goes from Stanley Cup champ to Chicago chump in less than a season. Typical selfish athlete - takes the money and run. He gets what he deserves - 4 years on a terrible team.
Freedom 55-sern Trophy - This award is given to the player best suited to retire and go into the community. It is kind of like the Masterson, but not really.
Finalists
Trevor Linden
Jeremy Roenick
John LeClair
Winner
John LeClair in a nail bitter. LeClair is past his best before date and is ready for the bone pile.
Band Aid Trophy - This award is given to the player most likely to watch a game from the press box.
Finalists
Jason Allison
Eric Lindros
Eric Daze
Winner
Eric Daze. Has this guy played a game since the turn of the millennium? What is Chicago paying him for? Buy out candidate of the year here.
Mario Tremblay Trophy - This award is given to the worst coach of the year.
Finalists
Marc Crawford
Gerald Gallant
Michel Therrien
Winner
Gerald Gallant in a squeaker. There is talent on Columbus. This guy was a marginal player and he has been an even worse NHL coach. It is, however, time for all three to cut the axe.
Frank Stallone Trophy - This award goes to a former two-way player who is neither offensive nor defensive anymore.
Finalists
Mike Peca
Trevor Linden
Martin Lapointe
Winner
Mike Peca. Peca was a huge bust with the Oilers and they will be glad to get out from under that contract. Not even a fraction of the player he once was. It is actually sad. I blame Darcy Tucker.
Michael Nylander Trophy- This award is given to the player who put up good, meaningless numbers. The award, sadly, will not go to its namesake since he actually didn’t achieve this.
Finalists
Jason Allison
Bryan McCabe
Alexi Yashin
Winner
Jason Allison. Allison put up the most meaningless set of statistics since the last Canadian Federation Students Annual General Meeting. Allison makes the players around him worse, if that is possible.
Finalists
Todd Bertuzzi
Alexi Yashin
Keith Tkachuk
Winner
Todd Bertuzzi hands down. We could cut him some slack due to the lawsuit, however, one still expects more from 44. He was largely inconsistent and as a result the Canucks are golfing to the first time in six years in April. Bertuzzi likely punched his (and Marc Crawford) ticket out of town.
Snoris Trophy - An award given to the league's worst defensemen with a salary over $1 million.
Finalists
Bryan McCabe
Aki Berg
Nick Boynton
Bryan McCabe in a walk. McCabe is the most overrated defenseman in the league. Did anyone see his awful performance in Turin?
He only plays on one half of the rink and even there he isn’t particularly strong. It didn’t take long for teams to clue into the one-timer from the point. It is sad that some team will pay $5 million per season next year for a guy who is a power play specialist. No offense to actual specialists around the world.
Red Light Racicot Trophy - An award given to the worst goalie in the league.
Finalists
Ed Belfour
Nikolai Khabibulin
Jose Theodore
Winner
Nikolai Khabibulin. How the mighty have fallen. Nik goes from Stanley Cup champ to Chicago chump in less than a season. Typical selfish athlete - takes the money and run. He gets what he deserves - 4 years on a terrible team.
Freedom 55-sern Trophy - This award is given to the player best suited to retire and go into the community. It is kind of like the Masterson, but not really.
Finalists
Trevor Linden
Jeremy Roenick
John LeClair
Winner
John LeClair in a nail bitter. LeClair is past his best before date and is ready for the bone pile.
Band Aid Trophy - This award is given to the player most likely to watch a game from the press box.
Finalists
Jason Allison
Eric Lindros
Eric Daze
Winner
Eric Daze. Has this guy played a game since the turn of the millennium? What is Chicago paying him for? Buy out candidate of the year here.
Mario Tremblay Trophy - This award is given to the worst coach of the year.
Finalists
Marc Crawford
Gerald Gallant
Michel Therrien
Winner
Gerald Gallant in a squeaker. There is talent on Columbus. This guy was a marginal player and he has been an even worse NHL coach. It is, however, time for all three to cut the axe.
Frank Stallone Trophy - This award goes to a former two-way player who is neither offensive nor defensive anymore.
Finalists
Mike Peca
Trevor Linden
Martin Lapointe
Winner
Mike Peca. Peca was a huge bust with the Oilers and they will be glad to get out from under that contract. Not even a fraction of the player he once was. It is actually sad. I blame Darcy Tucker.
Michael Nylander Trophy- This award is given to the player who put up good, meaningless numbers. The award, sadly, will not go to its namesake since he actually didn’t achieve this.
Finalists
Jason Allison
Bryan McCabe
Alexi Yashin
Winner
Jason Allison. Allison put up the most meaningless set of statistics since the last Canadian Federation Students Annual General Meeting. Allison makes the players around him worse, if that is possible.
# posted by Shaky @ 9:22 a.m. 
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Thank is one great post Moldy. I would like to see more of you coming up with your own awards.
# posted by 
: 12:00 p.m.
: 12:00 p.m.
Er, how could you leave Jarome Iginla out of contention for the no heart award? Here's a guy being paid a hair's breadth away from the maximum allowable salary to be an offensive powerhouse and/or a team leader on a team which had one of the worst offenses in the NHL.
The difference is that Ignila had a good, not great year. Sure he didn't fill the net, however, he played great two-way hockey for the better part of the year.
There's no way Patrick Lalime is better than any of the goalies on your list. He was an embarassment to the league from Game 1. I feel sorry for his mother.
As for Iginla having no heart ... are you kidding me? The guy was phenominal the entire season. There is not a single player in the league any dedicated Flames fan would exchange for Iginla, at any price. He kills penalties, takes face offs, forechecks like a banshee and is an all-around powerhouse. His points might not show it, but is team's performance has. This is the best season the man has ever had.
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As for Iginla having no heart ... are you kidding me? The guy was phenominal the entire season. There is not a single player in the league any dedicated Flames fan would exchange for Iginla, at any price. He kills penalties, takes face offs, forechecks like a banshee and is an all-around powerhouse. His points might not show it, but is team's performance has. This is the best season the man has ever had.
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